The term sweet spot in golf refers to a well executed shot which both direction and energy combine to produce what the user envisioned. In essence, it is the coming together of intention, a path of little resistance and total satisfaction. Its sweet because it hits the spot. What is the sweet spot of life? What is the difference between the times of effortless flow and the rigors of shoveling shit uphill? Weve all been there, haven’t we?
First of all we must learn life’s parameters through polarity: here is my determination:
Underfunctional: Doing nothing on a day to day basis, gaining no sense of progression or self worth and serving nobody.
Overfunctional: Life’s mousewheel runs you, you don’t run it. Perpetually working to the point that life and relationships slip by. You are constantly playing catch-up and putting out fires.
Total serenity: Deliriously happy with life to the point that no one can relate to your spaced out stupor, disregarding of certain 21st century realities and somewhat disengaged.
Trauma: Anxiety over life or dying, worried about money and social acceptance. Fear of failure, fear of success and living with a fear of fear itself.
Between the extremes listed above lies total functionality and a balance that lets you achieve and prosper whilst stopping to smell the flowers along the way.
In every example given above there are two gargantuan issues that prevent you from discovering that enigmatic sweetspot. The first is habit, and the second is ego. I have witnessed this in every top athlete with whom I have worked, and had to create change either psychologically or physically. These two troublemakers made the process the challenge it always is.
In regard to habits you must first interrupt the existing habit and then create a new one. How do you extinguish an existing habit? You either wind down and do less of it or you just STOP. The difference between winding down and STOPPING is how much emotional muscle and desire you have to change the habit. Whether you like this or not; you are your habit from the time you get out of bed to the time you return to it. The good news is that you can design you habits – the question is how much do you want to though?
In regard to the ego; you must be prepared to look foolish, feel uncomfortable, become a beginner, be told what to do etc. etc. All of these are exactly what the ego protects you against. So my advice? Develop a sense of humor and laugh at yourself when you know the ego is at work; start playing again and stop trying to control.
Lastly, when I was growing up in London we used to have a commercial in regard to a candy bar called Mars….its motto is something that you should follow AND in the order it is given…
Work, Rest & Play…
Its in those three mantras that you will find life’s sweet spot.
All the best,